Oh... So you don't have a boyfriend?
My relationship with the concept of "having a man," has changed immensely since being in college. It's still changing every day.
But, growing up I felt a need for validation from guys to actually feel pretty, to actually feel desirable. (Super problematic, I know.) This is something that continued until I was about a sophomore in college. As a sophomore, I was in my first real "situationship," that was not great for me at all.
In this relationship, I felt like I had this attention and I had to do whatever I could to keep it, because who else would give it to me?
However after a year, countless tears and enough friends telling me you deserve more for yourself--I realized that I need to give myself that love and attention.
I gave myself that love and attention.
So this past year I intensely loved myself. Granted I had my slip ups along the way... DMs that should've gone unsent and unanswered, standards that should have been a little higher and tears that should've gone uncried.
It took accountability partners.
But, I learned from each of these situations and I've actually tried to apply this learning to turn it into growth.
I don't need a man.
While I've always "known" this, I now believe it. I have been successful, happy and thriving without a "man." Honestly, life has been better when I have focused my energy back into myself. I'm at the point where I see people pining over someone to tell them to focus that energy back into themselves.
In this past year, I've also learned how bold I am. I have no issue "shooting a shot." If I make it? cool. If I don't? cool. Why?
I'm not a professional basketball player, my shooting average has no weight in my life. Sure, your ego might be bruised for a second-- but, having someone or not does not make you any prettier, any smarter or any better.
It solely means that in this moment someone just enjoys your presence and company and wants to be around you a little more. Having a boo doesn't change you.
Now that I have said all of this, y'all have permission to get me in formation if I start acting up.